My heart has been through in a raged of emotions and God is my only companion. All I had was HIM and HE is more than enough and I am more blessed and genuinely content with it. But humanly speaking as my querying mind sometimes asked? Where were you? Where are you?
As I unscrewed the nozzle of adulthood, with the game of finding the “one” is in the norm and still on a play where were you? Where are you?
I was impatient yes, I was and still is right at this very moment. That is why I am writing this to you in the verge of seeking an outlet. An outlet of my not so forbearing and restless heart. You know I am not perfect my love as well as that muscular organ about the size of a fist, located just behind and slightly left of the breastbone, you know that red thing called heart? The source of life? It is with numbness like a drunkard with anesthesia.
I thought I met you already I really thought I did. But as soon as I tried to learn in my mind and heart that He was not YOU.I began to lose my own. Crazy might it sounds but that’s what I loved waiting for you. Because I know once I meet you I know right then and then you will transport me to a haven, away from reality. Your presence in my future will be an unending escape from reality for me. Forgive me if I am being too abysmal. Forgive me if it seems like my mind is underneath my heart. Forgive me if I sound hasty and careless. Just please bear with me my love and know that I am writing this for you to keep a record of the status of my heart as of today, year of 2015.
With that, as I tossed the bottle of my desperation of finally meeting you. I am praying that you could do the same. For the meantime, let us focus of what it is now and what it is to come. Let us create memories for us to share and reminisce in the latter. Let us forgive and forget the high and the idea of unrequited love in our past. As we gulped some more of that burning liquid called LOVE. I pray that one day in God’s time, it will be you I could share it with until I couldn’t breathe anymore.
Love is beautiful my love, I know our LOVE will be. But if you think you are in love now. I hope it is not just an imbecile infatuation that messed everyone’s mind more than anything ever could.
Staggering barefooted, I will still weigh all the possibilities that made this waiting for you burning and burning. Amidst the thoughts of maybe you are not coming anymore? Maybe I will end up with no one all along? Maybe I am not supposed to engage in that trend? Maybe I already slipped the chance of meeting you? Maybe? What if? Am I just day dreaming? Would I forever struggle to forgive myself of not letting you in? If I did I am sorry, hurting you was not even on my list. If I really did let you go. I do not know I can be able to forgive myself, more so because I know now you, yourself haven’t been able to do that.
But if ever I have met you already and if ever you are with me now but never really fully fathomed that you are the “one”. I want to say. Thank you for staying un-thinkingly, Thank you because even if you are just a mere acquaintance or maybe just my Facebook friend. I am still grateful that you are already there in the latent. Watching or standing beside me and carried me when I did not deserve it at all.
And mostly, to end this piece I want you to know that I am thankful to God every day for having been taught how to live without you because I know when that time comes that I can finally see you face to face I can proudly say that I am READY to be with you.
You know my love, if it would have been because of the greatness of love, this would not exist I would not exist at all.
UNTIL THEN. I will see you in our wedding day! 🙂 ®
To God always be the Glory