Intangible Happiness

This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”- mARilyn

I am bawling my eyes into no misery, no dramatic prose and neither any saltiness in my skin and with certainty it isn’t self-destruction and never an endless poetry this time at all. Today with a very wide smiles and nudging jokes, healthy support and adoration. I found myself a simple assurance like holding somebody’s hand in the crowd, knowing that he wouldn’t loosen the grasp no matter what.

With this high, it is already an adventure. It is like being broke within yet with happiness, like a bit lost in a new city, a bit misunderstood in our joy. Airplanes are like buses to me. London, Berlin, Paris. Does it even matter? The world seems so small. So conquerable. The cities I used to run to, to get away from the hurtful memories of heartbreaks are all fuzzy figments stored in my mind. Something I recall when I can’t believe how blessed I am now today.

I know it will be tough. It won’t always be sunshine and butterflies, and that’s okay. Because I sure like the way the rain drops sound from my bed. I will make it. With soap bubbles in MY hair, the past a trivial memory, morning jogs with the dog, and with my thoughts of you by my side.

This is when I realize that someday I will realize – we are the ones we’ve been waiting for. And I have finally found a name for the word ‘love’.

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