13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
Embarking on a new age is certainly that life event that will always make me look back and ponder. Last Wednesday, 24TH of June, I hit my first 25 years of existence and I have been doing a whole lot of reflecting. Besides the typical “Whew!!! I’m another year older and I’m soooo old,” kind of thinking. It was also about feeling grateful and appreciative of this life, of my life.
From the beginning.
To put it in a metaphor, we were once like a fish with a straw in our mother’s belly. It might be a strange concept but we have lived for 7-9 months in our mother’s womb, fed by an umbilical cord connecting us to our mom’s resources, and immersed in liquid. A fish with a straw. That’s what we were. Only the straw wasn’t in our mouth; it was in our belly. Amazing but crazy right? A fish with a straw in its belly connected to our mommy for survival. This reality maybe left unappreciated and unnoticed by some but surely will never be less real because that moment right there is the very first reason why I am very thankful to God, for breath of life from the God of the cosmos. To the wondrous love and creation of our Lord God who created the entire universe for me, for all of us, in that little soft package in the womb. He has given us a chance of life with meaning.
Yes we are alive, I am alive.
FAST-FORWARD: Twenty-Five years later
As many moons ago, after I had my first take on earth’s air, I can’t help but be reflective. For God has given me wonderful 25 years and being able to live this far is a gift that I am forever grateful for. It isn’t about the years of course but it is about the feeling of being loved and the chance to love and give love in return. I am grateful for all the blessings throughout these years, for the extraordinary life shared with extraordinary people, for the up’s and down’s that taught me so much. I’m grateful to know what comfortable feels like, but also the unnerving feeling of anxiety and pain.
My heart may be decorated with wrinkles and scars but it is only because I have expressed a life’s worth of emotions which lead my intimacy to God grow more closer. And this sun-kissed dark spots and dry skin in my body exist only because I’ve lived a life outside, exploring this vast world. and I am forever grateful for the chance to see and sail the world because it the reason why I cultivated the passion to travel inside of me. Thus, taught me how to love the beauty in the temporary ( no matter how hard goodbye is) and i have also learned the bliss of settling down into something that is permanent.
Renewal and Pursuit
As I gathered all strength in this world and manned up to the idea of me turning 25 (5 more years til 30 Waah!),I must say that this year marked as a year of renewing of my faith as well as my oath to this womanhood journey of mine.
Now, I a more committed to face the battles inside of me and take charge of my life. I am more dedicated to be responsible enough for my failures and decisions that I will make. And every day I will look forward to learn more about myself and what I am capable of.
I will make sure to enjoy every little things that I couldn’t even fathom before, to put more importance to others more than myself. To love God more than silver or gold. To serve HIM more than my pride and sins, more than my heart and my selfish desires. To trust HIM and only HIM in all aspect of my life. Not my doubt, not my fear but HIM alone.
So that someday, one day when I finally meet the MAN of my prayers, I will be ready. I will be that grown woman with dreams and aspirations on her shoulders.To be that good wife more precious than any gems and be the coolest mother in the world that set a great example for her kids. I know I will never be near perfect but I will try to be the best, the very best.
To end this piece.
Again it’s not about what I haven’t done yet, it’s about what I have already experienced… the life I am blessed to live.
To be able to feel with my heart, to pour out hope, to give to others, to work hard, to take a risk, to live… for that I am grateful of…. For that, I am celebrating.
P.S I want to say thank you for my family,relatives and friends all over the world. Thank you for the never-ending love and support. I wouldn’t be here right now writing this blog if not because of your beautiful lives and kind hearts. God loves you and I LOVE YOU TOO.
Mizpah Faith Valmoria